The UNN Investigates: The Giroux Conspiracy

Something unusual has happened. My last article has been read in Metahaven, and when I say read what I mean is, it has gone kind of viral. This is unusual because we’re all so used to Metahaveners not being all that bothered about our efforts here at the UNN, unless we’ve got some inside scoop for one of their favourite telecasts. (But Barry in… is not always all that interesting to us, what can we say).

We wrote about what we had heard in the Ether. It turns out that in Metahaven, they have a name for what we were talking about. It’s called ‘The Giroux Conspiracy’. In short, it is the belief that some think unihavens are wiped out by rogue siro attacks, and that these attacks are not random.  

An acquaintance of mine, let’s call them M., reached out to me and let me know the chatter. People were sharing the article not so much that they were amused by our discovery of ‘measured unihaven collapses’, but that we should be so naive about it. For generations apparently they’ve referred to the Giroux Conspiracy, due to the discovery of a Seed Industries memo signed by the eponymous Giroux. The memo itself was a directive to unihavens, stating nothing more than the formula of the HekA-100.

Image: Historical document that gave the name 'Giroux'

So the question remains: why do unihavens ‘end’ and how exactly do they end? Is it a siro attack and if so can’t it just be put down to the natural movement of spores across the Avestan landscape? Some get lucky, and some don’t? It seems that like any trauma and anomaly in life, where information is lacking, paranoia and conspiracy rushes in and fills the void. It’s what people gives reassurance.

But counterintuitively, there’s no better reassurance than a Seed Industries directive surely - and we’re expecting a new one any day now…